Fire Starter

Here's a poem I typed.. something made me do it I dunt noe wat...
Its about how i feel.. and how i hide my emotions...

There are times I felt that I coul've been better..
But I look behind and find that i'm sadder..
All the times i spent wif happiness..
All the future faced with loneliness..
How will I ever open up my feelings..
The jitter I feel when my handphone rings..
I oh so hope that it could be her..
then i see its the alarm..so blur!

I 'd give anything to be what other's are
Its like being barricaded with a bunch of bars..
There's no changing who I am..
Coz i cant take MJ's path . oh damn..
As fair and normal i would like to be
I treasure the body god has given me....

I see a couple holding hands like they were meant to be...
But I turn away and say "that would never happen to me"
I look once, no, twice, no, three times..
But no one would buy my story for even a dime..

Then i say to myself "what's the use"
A girlfriend will not bring you a career boost..
I think I can do this alone
Following the example the redeemer has shown..
Marriage is for losers i say to myself
Then I look at the photos of my parents on the shelf.
Were'nt they once in love..
United by help from above?
I did'nt know how they got together..
But to me it will not happen..forever..

Im way too young
To my goals i shall run
Love can wait
"Acheive i can" i have saith..

BAh! what am I blabbering.. something's gotten into me.. I'm very different. I dont find myself as jittery as be4.. Peopls say i've gotten sickly; quieter... "gabriel are you sick?" "Gabriel, is anything wrong?" "Gabby do you have any problems?" offer not an answer i have.. I will forget all else I WILL ACHEIVE!!!!! you'll be seeing me being like a robot in the next few months. coz i feel i have nothing to smile about.. I am burning within, waiting to unleash my potential and i will sudy day and night even if my neck broke.. I'd put a homemade cast on it and continue with my work. stopping for nothing except death.. PLs don take me to be an emo-er... I just tryin to empty my brain...